


The Iceberg Icerink

by Esperata



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Getting Together, Ice Skating, M/M, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Ed had initially only gone for a laugh, specifically a laugh at Oswald. The idea of a man the size and weight of Penguin operating his business on an ice rink was too ridiculous. He really should have known better than to prejudge based on appearances.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 18
Kudos: 72





	The Iceberg Icerink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [connerluthorkent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/connerluthorkent/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Conner!

Ed had initially only gone for a laugh, specifically a laugh at Oswald. The idea of a man the size and weight of Penguin operating his business on an ice rink was too ridiculous. Just thinking of how he moved generally, all stiff joints and stubborn waddle, meant Ed literally couldn’t envisage him  _ skating _ .

He’d been thinking of little else since the promotional furore over the Lounge’s redesigned floor plan had been splashed across the front pages. While the upper levels remained safe for walking upon, the whole lower floor was now set up only for skaters. There were still chairs and tables round the edges for people but they were affixed into the floor so there was no escaping the ice.

Initially he’d assumed Penguin would stick to the upper level but the pictures he’d seen throughout the week showed him mingling with the more adventurous patrons downstairs. Ed couldn’t help but wonder how difficult it had been to get him posed. Had his staff escorted him to position? It made him chuckle to think of a little flotilla guiding him into position for his photo shoot before steering him back to safety. Like a barge with accompanying tug boats navigating a harbour.

He really should have known better than to prejudge based on appearances.

When he finally decided to visit, he’d made sure to have allowed an appropriate amount of time to convey his disdain for such stunts designed to dazzle the less intelligent populace. He’d also chosen the time because he fully expected that by now the initial excitement would have worn off and Penguin would be settled as usual on the upper level where he could watch the goings on below. Ed had a plan to suggest the man show him the new facilities personally and then he could enjoy seeing him wrong footed as he found excuses to refuse.

So when he walked in, paying the door staff no mind as he did so, his first instinct was to scan the balconies looking for the telltale black and white ensemble of his friend. Perhaps a curl of smoke from his cigarette. Yet, try as he might, Riddler couldn’t spot him. While he was thus engaged, a waiter came over to him with a drink on a tray and he glanced at it suspiciously before casting a questioning look at the man.

“Your usual, Mister Riddler. Mister Cobblepot gave standing orders that his friends were to be served immediately. If you want something else-”

“Where is he?” Nygma interrupted. “Your boss,” he clarified in case the idiot didn’t follow him. Although to be fair, Penguin’s employees generally were passably smart.

“On the rink. If you want to join him, I can get you some skates?”

Briefly, Ed deliberated. He hadn’t really thought about going onto the ice himself, only teasing Penguin about it, but he reasoned it could hardly be difficult. If the patrons could do it then it was almost certain he’d have no difficulties. Added to which, if  _ Penguin  _ could do it then he saw no reason he couldn’t.

“Yes,” he decided, imperially turning and heading across to the stairs heading down.

The waiter followed obediently until they got to the unobtrusive counter at the base of the staircase whereupon he ducked round to find a pair of skates in the right size.

“Do you have any in green?” Ed queried the moment he saw the proposed footwear.

“Umm.”

“Nevermind.” An overly dramatic sigh left his lips. “I’ll expect better service next time though.”

“Of course. We’ll order in a green pair for you Sir.”

“With sparkles,” Ed added distractedly as he sat nearby and began the laborious business of changing shoes. If there was a reply he didn’t hear it as his focus was now on trying to get his foot comfortable. He was trying hard not to think about who else might have worn this and already resolved to either get his own pair or insist Oswald keep the proposed green pair especially aside for his use.

Not that he anticipated having to visit Oswald on the ice rink often but clearly the man felt compelled to promote the service at present so preparations should be made for the event. Ed didn’t like being unprepared for anything.

Finally, he got his feet attired correctly and stepped carefully across to join the people mingling centre stage. Almost immediately he discovered that skating was a lot more difficult than it looked. The slightest movement on the slippery surface sent his legs sliding away from him and he maintained a tight grip with one hand on the dado rail. Rationally, he knew the laws governing friction and opposing forces but somehow he’d assumed from watching other people’s ease that the blades mitigated those somehow.

He resolved to locate Oswald and invite him back to safer ground as quickly as possible. No doubt the other man would be equally grateful of the chance to vacate the dangerous terrain. Although, like as not, he was at one of the tables anyway. Edward began sweeping his gaze round those, searching primarily for the distinctive top hat that would indicate his friend’s presence, yet nowhere was there any sign of him.

Gritting his teeth in frustration now, Ed realised he’d need to venture further in to get a clear view across to the other side of the venue. Cautiously therefore he began an awkward shuffle along the main path towards the centre, keeping one hand on a nearby table and eyes mostly on his feet as he did so. When he got to the inner edge of the circle however he took a deep breath and raised his gaze.

Only to lose his breath in a gasp as he finally spotted Oswald.

The Penguin was bedecked in his finest appareil, from top hat and tails down to black footwear and spats, but that wasn’t what stopped Edward short. It was his unforced, unfeigned, grace and poise as he glided across from one table to another, utterly confident in his movement and presentation. There had always been an ingrained confidence to Oswald that Ed admired but never before had he seen it expressed in his very physicality.

He could see now that the ability to simply slide rather than lifting his foot negated his habitual unbalanced way of walking but this was more than that. Oswald had always prided himself on his charm and sense of drama and clearly this freedom of movement was allowing him to demonstrate both more fully. It was obvious he was entirely at home on the ice in a way he never looked to be on ordinary flooring.

Whereas Ed was used to seeing him plant himself in position when conducting a conversation now he kept a flowing motion, almost relishing in the action as he circled a table of guests to talk to each member there. He also incorporated little twirls to keep his paternal eye on everyone else in the room or merely to change direction if the conversation took a different turn.

The phrase ‘poetry in motion’ came to mind and Ed found himself blushing despite the chill air. He couldn’t let Oswald see him like this, all awkward limbs and clutching for support. The man would laugh at him, and rightly so. He therefore decided it was time to beat a retreat and automatically went to spin about in an attempt to escape, only to remember too late his own blades and crash down painfully hard.

While his body lay in a twisted heap, Ed’s mind was still running fast enough to recognise he was not getting out without a scene now. Going down he’d managed to kick the nearest table, rattling the settings, so that even if people hadn’t seen his fall they would have heard the commotion. It was possible however that he might still escape Oswald’s notice. If he could at least get onto his knees to crawl away…

“Riddler. Whatever are you doing?”

The familiar voice scuppered his hopes of concealing his indignity and he looked up from his precarious position with a sour expression.

“Getting up,” he snapped, hoping to cover his embarrassment with irritation.

Oswald said nothing to the tone but settled in to watch as Ed gripped the table edge firmly and focused on reclaiming his feet without further mishap. Apparently he had no intention of leaving now he knew Ed was in residence. For his own part Ed tried not to look at him, having already got a much closer view of his legs revealing the usual suit trousers had been exchanged for a much more tight fitting pair that hugged his thighs very nicely.

Once he was finally upright, thankfully without any more slips, he tugged his own clothing back into shape, very nearly unbalancing himself again in the process. The close call prompted him to clear his throat emphatically as a distraction although he realised with hindsight that perhaps it would have been better to seize control of the conversation rather than allowing Oswald to pick it up.

"I assume there was something you wanted?" Penguin enquired with a pointed tone.

Ed panicked, his brain recollecting his original plan to ask for a tour and he recoiled in shame at the idea of Oswald seeing first hand how bad he was on the ice. One slip he could dismiss as an accident but if he tried to move it would quickly reveal his clumsiness. The realisation that he’d intended to mock Oswald for this very thing made his cheeks burn again and he blurted out the nearest variation of the truth he could immediately think of.

"Actually, I just came to see you."

Oswald blushed noticeably and Ed quickly ran back over what he’d said to figure out why before belatedly seeing how inappropriate it might sound. Of course Oswald would be embarrassed by such an implicitly flirtatious statement. How was a friend and host supposed to decline such attention without appearing rude after all? As he appreciated how he’d put Penguin in an uneviable position he quickly sought to extricate them from the situation.

“I was hoping to learn to skate.”

Internally he cursed himself for bringing attention to that inability. Why could he never say the right thing in front of Oswald? But then he rationalised it was making the best of a bad situation and averting having to find another distraction to escape unnoticed. Now he was the focus of Oswald’s gaze there was little chance of getting off the ice without his lack of confidence being noted so he might as well capitalise on it for their mutual benefit.

“Oh.” Oswald seemed to snap out of his confustercation. “Of course.”

He blinked whatever thoughts he’d been entertaining away and briskly glanced down to Ed’s long legs. A blush rose unbidden to Ed’s cheeks as he felt the weight of that stare and had to restrain the impulse to try and move away, reminding himself emphatically that the slightest wrong move would only embarrass him more.

“I can see why you might be having trouble,” Oswald offered. “You have such a high centre of gravity. Not low and weighted like me.”

“Yes, well, you’re perfectly adapted for your environment. I’m not entirely sure what environment I’m adapted for.”

“Nonsense.” Oswald shifted around to Ed’s side as he spoke. “You’re built for the stage. Now, rest an arm about my shoulders.”

It was undoubtedly the distraction of thinking about himself on stage that meant he had no hesitation in following the instruction. By the time he turned his thoughts to the pros and cons of their positioning he was already committed, arm braced and balance entirely dependant on the other man.

“Right.” Oswald’s voice sounded slightly tenser than before. “Well, I’m sure you’ve seen the basic principles. We just need to stabilise you while you practise.”

Automatically Ed nodded and tilted his head down to look towards his feet. The pivoting motion nearly sent him sprawling however and he clutched both hands onto Oswald who squawked in surprise.

“Don’t look down!” he admonished. “And don’t lean so far.”

“How am I supposed to position my feet correctly if I can’t see what I’m doing?” Ed complained.

Glancing at Oswald petulantly reminded him of the grip he still had on him even before he saw the rather unimpressed look being leveled his way and he let go with as much nonchalance as he could.

“Really Eddie? I’ve seen you assemble a Rubik cube with nary a glance before now and you expect me to believe you can’t move your feet right without looking?”

The remark caused Ed to purse his lips, being as it was entirely accurate and he could hardly argue the point.

“Fine,” he bit out. “But if I can’t look down you’ll have to tell me what I should be doing.”

“Of course. To start with you just need to adjust to sliding so first I want you to shuffle forward, keeping both feet on the ice, and then let yourself slide.”

Awkwardly Ed shifted one foot then the other to give himself momentum and then wobbled dangerously as he moved forward seemingly without control. The hand on Oswald’s shoulder instinctively gripped tighter although he could feel Oswald’s arm still about his waist keeping him stable.

“Good, good. We’ll keep this up until you’re a little more comfortable.” Oswald easily skated forward a pace practically forcing Ed to shuffle-slide again if he didn’t want to lose his support. “Once you’re a little more steady on your feet you can try lifting each foot independently to glide a little.”

Ed tried to ignore the attention of the other patrons who he could feel looking judgmentally at him. It seemed to him the best way to both do that and distract himself from his anxiety of falling was to start a conversation.

“You’re very confident on the ice.” He heard the accusation in his own tone and consciously tried to soften it. “I presume you had some experience prior to this renovation? Perhaps prompting it even.”

“Yes.” Oswald’s gaze flitted between Edward’s progress and their own trajectory, watching for obstacles. “I used to go skating every year when the lake froze. A deal more treacherous than this surface I can tell you.”

“Hhhmm.” The thought of the young Oswald skating was frankly endearing and Ed felt his cheeks heat. He almost looked back to his own feet in an instinctive duck of the head before remembering himself. “I never skated before. Or did any physical activities really.”

“It's odd isn’t it?” Oswald mused. “To look at us people would expect you to be the athletic one. Not that I really qualify beyond this. And swimming I suppose.”

It was a neat echo of Edward’s earlier internal remonstrance of judging by appearances and he glanced again at his companion.

“People underestimate us at their peril though,” he countered.

“Indeed.” Oswald grinned. “And you underestimated yourself too. You’re already finding your feet.”

Ed realised with a start that at some moment Oswald had released him and he was managing to maintain both movement and posture beside him, albeit slowly and jerkily.

“How do I stop!?” he panicked immediately, flailing his arms and nearly falling face first before he found Oswald once again under his grasp.

“Stick one skate sideways like you would to stop skiing.”

“I’ve never skied!”

They came to a halt by the expedient of Oswald planting himself and letting Ed crash in a controlled manner into him, catching his arms to prevent him rebounding off and falling down.

“Really. You were doing well. There was no need to panic.”

“I did not panic,” Ed huffed. “But it’s only sensible to know how to stop before starting.”

“Yes, fine.”

Oswald disentangled himself and Ed felt a surge of anxiety as he skated away, only calming as he saw him stop and turn back to him.

“It’s like this.” He glided directly at Ed, eyes on his. “Feet together, move them apart and slide one sideways.”

He came to stop inches away and Ed found his breath catching. For his own part Oswald seemed to be staring more intently than necessary and a thousand thoughts began running through Ed’s mind, not all appropriate for their surroundings.

“Perhaps we should try something a tad more controlled before letting you loose again.”

It suddenly occurred to Ed that he’d paid no attention at all to Oswald’s feet during that demonstration and still had very little idea of how to stop. He therefore latched gratefully onto this new suggestion although he did make an attempt to hide his gratitude.

“I’d have thought  _ starting  _ with something controlled would have been preferable to shoving me out onto the ice.”

“Tsk. You were hardly  _ shoved _ .” It was almost unconsciously mocking how Oswald skated backwards a few paces as he spoke. “But we’ll try something simpler if you insist.”

Ed bristled at the insinuation he needed  _ anything  _ simplified but was forestalled from rebuking the remark as Oswald immediately began demonstrating the proposed exercise. He therefore focused intently on the motions with the aim to prove how he was perfectly capable, if reasonably cautious. And really, was wanting to know how to stop so ridiculous?

“See?” Oswald concluded, again moving backwards effortlessly. “Now you try.”

With fresh resolve Ed inhaled, fixed his gaze on Oswald, and began copying the movements. It took him a few seconds to position his feet correctly in order to start but then he found some comfort in the repetitious pattern he had to follow; heels together, slide the feet apart, point toes inwards, slide the feet together.

His body wobbled here and there, causing him to fling out his arms occasionally, but gradually he fell into a rhythm. He even began to enjoy the gentle motion.

“Good! Good!” Oswald praised with a smile. “Shall we see if you can’t try gliding again now? Let’s try a lap.”

While Edward switched his feet back into a posture for general skating, he frowned to see Oswald still facing him.

“You won’t be able to see where you’re going like that,” he pointed out.

“But I’ll be able to watch in case you fall,” Oswald countered. “I’ll just have to trust you to warn me of any imminent collisions.”

Something in Ed stuttered at that comment and he could feel pieces shuffling themselves into a new order. Luckily he had a physical activity to focus on which allowed his mind free rein to work through what it needed to. So, while his feet maneuvered themselves into the correct pattern for gliding, his eyes and thoughts fixed themselves on Oswald ahead.

It was true that his relationship with Oswald had always been a different quality to everyone else. He’d put that down to having non conflicting ambitions that even occasionally complimented each other but that didn’t explain the frequency of their meetings. The fact that they often looked each other up for company and conversation entirely unrelated to what might be broadly termed their work.

Watching Oswald now he realised this visit as well had nothing to do with anything but pleasure. Being with Oswald was pleasurable to him. Yet even that didn’t cover it. He enjoyed laughing with Harley. Debating with Jonathan could be stimulating. Playing games with Jervis was fun. This… this was something else.

He liked looking at Oswald. His unique features were fascinating and drew Ed’s attention like a moth to a flame. Now he was thinking about it, he realised he wanted to reach out and touch. To experience them in a tactile way. They had spent so much time talking together, Ed probably knew him better than he knew anyone and it was certainly true in reverse. Oswald had put the very word to it. They trusted each other. And that was not something to be taken lightly.

His pulse jumped as his mind considered this new prospect; being with Oswald more fully. Trusting him with more than just his physical wellbeing but possibly even his heart. Knowing not just his mind but his body too. Intimately.

Predictably he forgot how to control his skating feet while his system lit up with this newly released desire and he stumbled, instinct making him extend his arms despite reason telling him he was going to fall either way. He inhaled sharply in preparation for the landing only to find himself still standing as he made a softer impact when sturdy arms latched about him to leave him planted against a warm chest. Glancing upwards from his ungainly sprawl he saw worried eyes looking back at him.

“Edward? Are you alright? You zoned out and flushed alarmingly.”

He might have managed a semi reasonable response to that if Oswald had not chosen to brush the hair away from his forehead. The tender gesture broke any restraint Ed might have retained and he surged the short distance to plant his lips against the other man’s.

It was at once far too much and too little. Too little in that Ed was consumed with a trembling want that was only being fuelled by the feel of Oswald’s arms about him but too much in that he had not given any indication of his intentions before stealing this kiss. For that reason alone he managed to rein himself in and break away, nearly falling again in his haste only to feel hands holding him firm.

Opening his eyes, that he hadn’t realised he’d shut, he prepared to stammer any plausible excuse only to be halted by the heated expression on Oswald’s face. It was an unmistakable look of equal want and fervour so Ed leant himself back in to kiss him again. Yet the hands remained firm, holding him at arms’ length, and he frowned in puzzlement.

“Not in front of the customers,” Oswald murmured, moving closer with a pretext of straightening Ed’s tie and jacket.

Under such cover he let his hands rest tantalisingly on Edward’s chest before casting a teasing look accompanied by a smirk up at him.

“Perhaps you’d care to join me in my office though?”

Ed couldn’t agree fast enough and found his skill in skating immeasurably improved with the incentive on offer. Getting off the ice proved no trouble at all although the delay changing shoes frustrated him. Still he decided it might be worth trying ice skating again, and maybe exaggerating his lack of balance, just to get Oswald to manhandle him in public a bit.

As he finally got his own shoes back on and followed at Oswald’s heels to privacy, he resolved to compromise. Tease the public with his flirtatious behaviour but maintain Penguin’s dignity at all times. Or at least until Oswald was ready to flaunt him in turn. And, well, until that time Riddler would just have to be inventive about showing off his prized place at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Geniusbeee drew a wonderful image of ice skating Oswald. Check it out.
> 
> https://twitter.com/geniusbeee/status/1302338020759105536?s=19


End file.
